Failed Cycle

We never thought we would be here…again. Throughout this whole cycle we truly did not believe it will not be positive.

I found myself at a loss for words & faith for a min. This process is hard, it’s hard to talk about, it’s hard to go through, its hard to not be pregnant, it’s hard to move forward.

It’s been 7weeks and it’s still hard to talk about. We didn’t know how we will move forward, but we knew forward we will move.

I don’t know when we will be pregnant, I don’t know how long we still need to wait, but I do know God have bigger plans for us.

“If you can’t have faith…have Hope!” ➕🖤

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Two Week Wait

We are half way through the two week wait with a full house.

We’ve got 5 kids between the ages 13 – 6 visiting for the last week of school holidays. 2 of which feel like two each, which means we actually have 7kids visiting.

I thought with them here keeping us crazy busy & having to repeat things a million times, time would go by fast. But actually it haven’t. It still feels like we have two weeks to go. But I am enjoying having them here, as it might be the last time all of them visit in quite awhile.

I’ve been trying to take it easy and take every day as it comes but my wife have been super crazy. She have been reading up & watching videos of what we can do in the two week wait to help the babies implant.

A lot of fertility doctors & women who have gotten pregnant have the same advise as to what to do. If it really helps I don’t know, but my wife has gotten me doing some of them.

1. I’ve been put in socks everyday & night. According to Chinese medicine, warm feet equals warm womb, which allows the babies to implant beautifully.

2. I am suppose to wear a haramaki to go around my womb but we could not find one so we bought a seamless preggy belly bando to keep warm.

3. I’m eating warm foods, soups etc. another that keeps the womb warm.

4. I wanted a basal body thermometer to measure my BBT everyday. Only bought it yesterday, a little late but we are hoping to see when they implant. According to the fertility doctors your temperature drop and immediately picks up again when implantation took place.

5. We are busy fighting or negotiating exercise. Ofcoz I cannot do any vigorous exercise, but doing a 5km slow walk should be okay, right? Still negotiating hoping I can go do a walk Saturday with the kids. Wish me luck.

Looking forward to the next half of this two week wait.

The CrazyBeautifuls

A transfer & a Birthday

Meet my mini me. Lil Miss Kehara, my godchild. She is turning 10 today & we will be heading to Worcester soon to celebrate with her.

This day is pretty special to me, having our embabies be put back on her birthday makes my heart so full of joy. I love a beautiful story & what a story it’ll be to tell her & our kids one day.

But let me get into the transfer, I’m sure you guys wanna know 😀 our appointment was set for 12:00. Our Dr was running late the morning so all his appointments were pushed back. I arrived with a crazy full bladder cause Juds kept forcing me to drink more water. At 12:48 we were still waiting & I urgently needed to pee, I really could not hold it anymore. Which I did & tried my outmost not to let everything go.

Filled my bladder with water again, and the Dr finally came to get us at 13:08. He apologized & We headed straight down to the lab & I needed to change quick quick. He tried to crack jokes & make me smile, but I was too focussed on that full bladder & that speculum that I hate. A speculum is an instrument that holds the walls of the virgina apart so that the Dr can easily see my cervix.

Dr Thabo gently inserted the speculum (which always hurt for me), his assistant used the ultrasound for accuracy, and Dr Thabo then passed a catheter through the cervix and into my womb. From there, the embryos were passed through the tube and into my womb. Three beautiful blastocysts.

We decided on three because we really want to increase our change for twins, although I am convinced we gonna have triplets 😀 Dr Thabo was in & out. Quick quick. Juds got to see the three of them on the Sonar, I didn’t wanna move or look anywhere, I just wanted that thing outa me. Lol

After the transfer Dr Thabo was like, Judy how old are you again? She said she will be turning 30 in Nov, and his heart almost literally stopped. I think for a moment he forgot how old she was, & was now very concern that all three might take. See the younger you are the more likely it is for the embryos to implant. The embryologist had the same shocked face & was like.. you guys told me three. We all laughed even though I were quite content & the three of them alil worried. 😀

We are about to head to Worcester for Kehara’s Bday but Judz got her wish that I first rest.

Now the TWW begins…

Ciao Ciao

The CrazyBeautifuls ¥

Egg Retrieval just in time for Easter

Corny I know lol I had no idea what to make the subject line.

Anyway as you know we had egg retrieval on Monday, and we got 5 beautiful eggs. Who all fertilized & are all blastocysts today on day 5.

What is a blastocyst you might wonder?
The blastocyst is a structure formed in the early development of mammals. It possesses an inner cell mass (ICM) which subsequently forms the embryo. In humans, blastocyst formation begins about 5 days after fertilization when a fluid-filled cavity opens up in the morula, a ball of cells.

This is the first cycle we are transferring after day 5. Previous cycles we transferred on day 4 or 5, it normally depends on the quality of embryo. This time I believe we really have some great embryos hence our Dr waited till day 6. Which is tomorrow, T.RANSFER day.

We are pretty excited after a rather stressful week since it felt like forever to hear from our Dr.

Tomorrow is also my god child’s birthday, which make 23 MARCH 2019 a pretty special day for us.

XOXO

The CrazyBeautifuls ¥

A weekend away & a trigger shot

A weekend away with a trigger shot, I thought this will be interesting, but never did I think it’ll give my wife so much anxiety. Literally so much anxiety that she spend alota time on the toilet. Lol

The trigger shot were to be taken at 22:00 yesterday night and we didn’t know how we will plan this whilst being at Judy’s grandma’s 70th birthday party.

Let me tell you about our dilemma. We stayed in Langebaan for the weekend, granma Loretta lives in Vredenburg and the surprise party was out in Saldanha. The trigger needs to be in a fridge up until before Juds needs to take the shot. We thought of our options… 1. To take the shot with on an ice pack, put it in the fridge at the hotel where the party was, but we weren’t comfortable because what if it got lost or misplaced. 2. Put it in Granma Loretta’s fridge in vredenburg & drive out there to trigger at 10h, but we didn’t have time to go there before the party cause we were kinda almost late. 3. Was pretty much the best option, leave the trigger at our place & leave the party at 9h30 to trigger at 10h.

But this is what really had Judz so stressed because she was worried that the party might still be going or her mum might need us to help clean up or do something. And Judz hate not being there when her mum or family needs her. Long story short, some of the people started leaving around 9h, we left at 9h30, tried to rush back to make it at time, the gps of our new car took a wrong turn & we had to turn back. We made it to our place at 22h on the dot & got to trigger at 22h06.

The trigger went down pretty good. There were alittle blood and a small sting but my trooper took it well for our little nuggets. Today she has been in some akward-heaviness, because the eggs is about to pop. But we are all ready for tomorrow’s egg retrieval.

Still send baby dust, we will take all of it.

Love

The CrazyBeautifuls

First last’s

Today was my first & last scan. Our Dr was so pleased with my lining that he said he don’t have to scan me again before transfer. 😉 Which obviously put a smile on my face, because I hate that sonar.

Juds had her second scan & last scan today. The follicles have grown beautifully & we are ready for trigger tomorrow night & straight to egg retrieval on Monday 🥚🥚🥚

A weekend away with a trigger shot & family, this ought to be interesting. 😀 But it kinda give me so much comfort, all our previous cycles none of our family knew. And even though they also don’t know yet, it gives me comfort & I feel that there is such a blessing on this cycle having them here.

For now I need to run, the ocean is calling my name.

Love

The CrazyBeautifuls ¥

Last injections

We made it to last injections & beautiful follicle growth. Judz had her last injections this morning & I must say, these cycle of injections she took like a champ. There was no warming up before the time and no much burn & complains afterwards.

She also had her first scan with our Dr today, and was it a pleasant appointment. I’m gonna keep the smiles 😊 & praise to a minimum, just know I was pretty excited to see him & he kept us smiling from start to end. (Blush face)

There were 7 beautiful follicles on the left side & only 1 big one on the right side. The cyst is still there hence only one could grow on the right side, but the Dr confirmed the cyst didn’t grow at all, which is great news. After our successful cycle we will be having the cyst removed with our Gyne.

Today’s appointment made me forget about all the other things keeping us so busy & stressed. Me & Juds agreed for the time being we won’t be working later then 5 everyday, this is a very special time for us, we need to be rested & healthy and going the extra mile at work can wait.

My appointment is on Friday 15th, and even though I am dreading that sonar, I am looking forward to seeing our Dr & getting a step closer to having our babies.

Also counting the days for this weekend away, we need some VitaminSea.

Love

The CrazyBeautifuls ¥

The Plan, Gods Plan

Do you wonder about the Plan child?

God woke me up at 02:00 Saturday/Sunday morning & asked me that question. I immediately were reminded of scripture that days….

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).

My child, I know you want to see what’s ahead. I know it is difficult to not know, to not know what is around the corner. I know you wonder if I have a plan.

My daughter, how could I not have a plan for this world? How could I not have a plan for you? Do you wonder now, what does it mean for Me to have a plan? Does it mean Me knowing all the details of a moment in the future? Does it mean Me having designs stretched out for what’s ahead, a purpose considered, an arrangement in place?

What if I told you the plan I have for you is not for you to worry about? What if I told you there is only a small part you can understand of all the things I know and the things I want you to know and the things you just don’t need to be concerned with?

Here is my plan: I have good for you. It is my desire that you know Me, that you love Me, that you follow Me, that you serve Me. It is my plan, it is my desire, that you want to be with Me, that you want to talk with Me, that you stay here, in this moment with Me, and concern yourself with knowing Me now, this moment, and not considering all the details about the future that I know and you don’t.

What do you want to know? What do you want to know that you think I am holding out on you?

Here is what you need to know: I love you, and I never forget you. Your life is my preoccupation. You are part of my plan for this world, which I love and which I desire to heal and bring to life and have know Me. I don’t want this world to miss out on what I’ve always had for it, as I hold out my hand . . . as I hold out my hand.

God told me to put down my phone & hold out my hand. And that’s what I have done, I’ve put my phone down. No more Instagram, Facebook & Twitter until God says so. You see my phone have been taking up all my time. Always thinking of what to post next, what caption to write, making sure my insta-blogging is on point. And somewhere in-between I have made time for my wife & God. That’s why God said put down your phone & hold out your hand.

I’ll only still update here now & then but for now this Daughter will be holding out her hand to only God.

Love

On half of The Crazybeautifuls ¥

Day 06 & Day 03

As you can read from the subject line we officially started. 😀 Judz are on day 6 of her cycle & meds and I am on cycle & meds day 3.

Judz started with Menopur & Fertomid, in the next few days she will start with the Arthrexin. Her first scan is on Tuesday 12th @ 11:30h.

I started with Estropause & my first scan is Friday 15th @12h.

Egg retrieval & Transfer are hopefully next week, but I’ll be sure to check in with a post. I am pretty excited but we both are just so tired. Life & work don’t stop, regardless of what we are going through. I wish we could have taken off, rested & spent more time together. As I am writing this post, Judz is spending her Sunday after church at work.

Luckily we will be going away this coming weekend to Langebaan with my in-laws. Hopefully we can rest & enjoy the ocean.

Fertility treatments take a lot out of yourself & a couple. It’s important between all the emotions that u find time to rest & to spend sometime together.

Love from the tired

CrazyBeautifuls ¥

Little too late

Well just as late as this post is, just as late were Judz period. It literally came the forth and was too late.

We couldn’t continue with the cycle. That’s the thing with IVF, IUI & ICSI – you cant just decide one night u wanna make a baby. You gotta plan & time these things with the help of your fertility Dr.

We started with the p.i.l.l again & will be stopping soon & waiting for our cycles to start, so that we can officially start our 4th ICSI cycle.

I guess this isn’t much of an update guys, I just wanted to let you know what’s been up.

Hopefully I’ll be back soon with good news.

Keep well

The CrazyBeautifuls ¥